Dance Etiquette

By SalsaSteph

Quick Tips On:

Kissing - Respect – Behavior – Rejection – Grooming - Dating - Pacing Yourself in the Salsa Scene

1. It is in the Latin American and European culture to kiss once, if not twice, on each cheek. Personal space is closer. More hugs, more touching, talking closer to your face is customary.

2. Friendly behaviour and openness are more expected, rather than cold, non-smiling, closed-body language. Everyone is salsa-ing to have a good time and ESCAPE from negative behaviours. Keeping it light, with a fun attitude is normal!

3. Everyone started out at the same place (as a beginner), no matter how good they’ve become. You don’t hide at home until you’re perfect - you GO OUT in order to understand how to dance better! At first, you may not impress the person you want to. Go out as often as possible and do some “trial and error” to get that out of the way. Just run off the dock and jump in the lake! Get it over with! You’ll feel super-refreshed quickly and will wonder why you didn’t do it sooner. It’s all about confidence.

4. Rejection is always hard to take; however, you need to go in with a good mentality. If someone says no to you, don’t take it personally. Graciously turn to someone else and ask another person. Keep asking until someone says yes. If no one accepts, either you need to take lessons in dancing or personal hygiene. The more you get out on the floor, the more the regulars will notice you and ask you to dance over the next few weeks.

5. Remember not to be upset with people say no to you. Don’t punish them. You’ll understand, when you settle into your own, that people have a circle of friends they enjoy dancing with, have chemistry with, and want to experience their “salsa high” with. Sometimes, dancing with strangers is like taking away a person’s candy. It’s about them, not you.

6. Latin Americans are very proud, and personal hygiene is very important. Going out means you dress up. Even if it’s a casual look, always bathe, put deodorant on, splash some fragrance on, freshen breath…and make sure your hair is clean, too. Guys tend to sweat a lot, so bring some extra t-shirts to wear under a long-sleeved shirt, or just to replace the wet one. Wet t-shirts are YUCKY!

7. What to wear dancing: Black is great - it hides the sweat stains. It’s also slimming. Don’t wear light colours if you sweat. Girls, avoid bare-back halters, so guys won’t have to put their hand on your sweaty back. Try not to wear high ponytails if your hair is long – your hair will whip in the man’s face and whack him in the eye – lethal! Be careful with buttons on sleeves and watches on wrists - they can get caught on hair.

8. Sorry to disappoint, but if you are looking for romance, not a lot of couples seem to meet in salsa. You’d be surprised, but people are not looking for a future spouse. Most are there to relax and forget their troubles - it’s addictive in fact! Some nights (in a club) are strictly for dancing, and others are for picking up and dating. Know the difference. And know that if you date, and break up, you’ll still see the person in the club. Most people do not give up salsa easily, no matter what. The scene is very small…

9. Typically, you dance one or two songs with the same person, and then move on. If you stand on a spot just outside of the dance floor, you’ll get more offers to dance than if you sit down. Make sure you don’t cross your arms with a frown - which will turn people away. The more you dance on your own, and sing to the music, with a big smile, the more you’ll be asked to dance.

10. Ladies, do not hesitate for one minute to ask men to dance! Break your gender roles and be progressive. That’s how it’s done on the salsa dance floor. Ask the good dancers, even instructors, and you’ll learn way faster.

11. Get over yourself! Don’t take yourself so seriously! Watch that you don’t complain that about being incompetent, too old, not cool enough, etc. Smile and be friendly and all will be good. Confidence is ATTRACTIVE….SELF-DEPRECATION IS TERRIBLY UNATTRACTIVE.

12. Everyone has a right to expect decency, respect and courtesy. If you feel uncomfortable or think that someone is being rude, then let them know - without getting angry. You may need to calm down before telling them. An example: A partner you don’t know touches you inappropriately, or someone steps on you unintentionally and doesn’t apologize. You can turn around and let them know instead of pushing them back. Fights/arguments are not usual and are hardly ever seen in the current downtown Toronto salsa scene.

13. Pace yourself. When you become a “salsa-holic,” your nightly dancing may result in being very tired during the day, and you may find yourself detaching from your non-salsa friends. They won’t understand your obsession and will be envious of your secret world…until they go, that is! Make sure you get enough sleep or you’ll burn out – or your family may disown you!

14. It’s normal to sweat a lot when dancing. If you are a dripper, then bring a few extra shirts - expect bigger laundry loads! Bring a small towel to wipe your face. Watch the pit stains…ya know! Ladies - think about avoiding halter tops if you get really sweaty on your back. The exception of course to all of this is at a hot congress, where EVERYONE is drenched!

15. Very important: Do not ask people out on a date or for their number the first few times you dance with them. It is not common etiquette. People hang out in groups and expect to meet up every week, same time, same place, - so calling is not needed. Women tend to feel safer in this environment. Then, if there is connection, go ahead and find out! If you really feel something special going on, try giving your e-mail first. Do what you feel, and hopefully, you won’t get the cold shoulder in the future.